For the few retards out there that Howard talks about that can't distinguish the difference between "New and Live" Stern shows, and "Best Of's", this column is for you.

Howard and the gang are officially on vacation for two weeks and won't be back live until Monday July 21st. During this time we've decided NOT to post "Best Of" shows on the Daily Stern. The main reason behind this is, I absolutely hate the "Best Of" shows. Personally, I think they don't pick any segments that might even be considered Best's and the few good ones that get sprinkled in are so tired and played that I just don't want to hear them anymore. Basically, i'm saying I couldn't listen to them if I got payed to... Which i'm not.

However, i've said this before, if you're a new listener to the show, I strongly suggest listening these next couple weeks. It will definitely catch you up to the subtle little things and people from the past that get glossed over from Stern expecting his fans to already know. Such as Crackhead Bob who doesn't do the show anymore, Hank the Dwarf who died a couple years ago, and of course the guy that Artie replaced with flying colors, Jackie Martling. If you're a new listener inside of 2 years, he's just a name and a back ground image on the 11:30 E! shows to you. Do your homework new Stern fans, but if you're an old fan like me sleep in if you can!

The only people from the show that we kinda know where they'll be this summer is Robin and Gary. If you have the cash and the sick days to kill i'm sure they'd appreciate some American faces in the great country of Holland, Amsterdam specifically. Visit the Heineken factories with them and try to get Robin baked on some of that legal weed. And if you really have some money to burn, buy Gary one of those legal whores from the Red Light District and say it's compliments of all the listeners who know how whooped and starved for pussy he is.

I'm sure you can find Howard on some expensive island somewhere for half the days and in the Hampton's for the rest. I'd bet money that if you live in the New York area and went to a few Yankee games you'd see Artie Lange on a weekly basis. As for the rest of the guys, who know's, your guess is as good as mine.

I'll be back bright and early Monday morning July 21st with a new edition of the Daily Stern. Until then, E-mail us all comments on this column and ideas about others. Later Days. SL